So, I was going to start this post off by saying that I was hit over the head by Christmas lights and just now came out of Christmas comma but that would be a lie. This is the first year since Nolan has been born, that I have had time to breath and get excited and AND watch Christmas movies! I've seen a total of THREE Christmas movies this year where as last year it was more like half a movie. I've read the Christmas Carol (again) and who knows what other festive things I've been doing.
Nothing has been rushed or pushed or "tradition" that wasn't fun. The first Christmas Nolan was around he was only a month old, and I literally broke down in tears because I couldn't wrap the gifts...I wasn't well. But now I can appreciate our FIVE Christmas', for the first time in my marriage.
The reason for my renewal of Christmas cheer and joy, okay I have to give credit to the kid. Nolan is suddenly interested in the presents and gets excited about things, like the advent calendar and movies, and Wall-E (but Wall-E is another post). His eyes get so excited and I feel myself remembering what it felt like to just be happy about getting a gift or seeing someone or COOKIES!
For so long I've looked at Christmas as an has been, brutally scandalized by materialism and advertizing. It was really hard to get excited about giving and getting gifts that you HAD to give and get. They weren't like gifts that you scraped every extra penny to buy the perfect thing and then wrapped it up super deceiving so that they would never guess what was inside. Nope, Christmas for awhile now was just about spending money to get by and hope someone listened to you enough to know what to get you. But year after year you'd get the same old things, a lot of them too, fake smile and Thank Yous would follow and then go home feeling broke, tired, and unknown.
Re-reading my last paragraph I know I sound spoiled and I have to admit that I am. I grew up poor. Each kid maybe got five or six presents but they were super special. Each gift had HOURS of thought put into them. Even if it was a stuffed Tiger, the approach to giving the gift was always thought out. By the way the Tiger was placed on my bed right after I woke up and a note under the tree directed me back to my room where, to me, a Tiger magically appeared, super cool and a great laugh. I could go on and on about all the funny, heart warming, and great times that my family and I had on Christmas morning (Plus, I got engaged on Christmas!). Which is why I feel spoiled, my poor child Christmas' were so much warmer and heartfelt than anything I have tried to create or had since.
Until this year. This year I get to share with my son the magic I miss and suddenly the spirit of Christmas came rushing back.
Which is why I haven't written... MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!
